Can you hear me breathing, can you hear my needs, do you see my crying, do you hear
my screams. When you face your days, being insecure, finding another person to feel secure, when you fail to stand and bleed inside, when all you can think is how to solve this maze, that keeps turning inside.
I scream out loud in my solitary shrine, hiding my sadness from me myself. Everyone you turn to either turns a hypocrite or a enemy, when you crave for the support, when you crave for someone to lift you up, that's the time when all goes down.
Whatever or whoever you knew turns another side, standing behind that safety line
watching you fall, watching you trip, watching you make the mistake that you asked for.
So that no matter what happens, the blame can always be set on you, as your the one
who was solely responsible for the act and the mistake. Knowing that, what you get is what you do, but it always help to have another person to stand beside you.
But what gives, why should I be supportive of you, I don't care what happens to you, go fight your own battle, if you lose, then deal with it, if you win, then be ashamed of yourself for not sharing the glory. The glory that was not expected, the glory that was not meant to be, the glory that you got for taking the step to make the mistake.
Everyone wears a mask over they're face, trying to hide who we really are to the face of the crowd. Everyone points the finger to your mistake, because the easiest thing to do is, to blame someone else rather than yourself. Something like what I am doing here and now, trying to find someone to blame, pulling everyone to the stand, hoping I can blame them, trying to make myself as the guilty person, trying to take the blame off me, to dodge those looks and fingers pointing at me.... but it does not prevail.
Why cant anyone listen to me? Should I start bragging to get attention, or should start making fun of others to get some air time. Listening is the hardest thing to do...
But getting someone to listen and understand is a whole different story.
why is it always a different story from your point of view? how would it be different?
why am i judged for something that I am not, why that, the people are too blind to see that I am trying to make ends meet. why that everyone just wants to ride the wagon of fun... i am standing here staring down the bullet, trying to make final stand... I'll be standing alone, because I cant make anyone understand how it feels to be in the eyes of the crowd.